Last night (yes, Halloween) was the TWENTIETH anniversary of my first date with dh. This photo is not from that first date; it is from December, I think. Still, this is how we looked--19 years old, young and thin. LOL
Story behind the blind-date: the guy I thought I wanted to go to the Halloween dance with decided to go dressed as Jesus. I just could not go to a party with Jesus. I decided to stay home, then my friend decided I needed to go out with her boyfriend's friend . . .
He took me to McDonalds, where I ordered a Diet Coke, no food, but ate half his french fries, then to a movie, Legal Eagles, which I don't remember, since I did not wear my glasses around him for several months. All I saw was a big blurry rectangle of light, lol.
We're no longer 19 or thin, but still together.

These are my guys! Saturday our state geocaching organization had a terrific all-day event at a local lake and state park. We had to be back at a decent time so I could attend the dinner and Relief Society broadcast at my ward building, but in the meantime we had a terrific day! The organization had 48 caches out, and we located 14 by 1:00. If we could have stayed another 5 hours we would have found more! We met a terrific family from about an hour away with whom we "teamed up" to find several caches. This is a favorite family activity of ours. See www.geocaching.com for caches in your area, then grab a GPS, some insect repellent, a few little trinkets to leave in the caches, and off you go!

This is a picture of my dh--he recently celebrated a birthday. I won't tell you which one because we are the same age, lol, and I'm not admitting to it yet. Anyway, he got a new GPS device for his birthday, which renewed our interest in geocaching, a very fun hobby. :-) He came home early Friday, picked up the boys, and went out and found two caches, and then Saturday we went out to our local nature preserve and found three more. Fun! You download information on caches from a site like www.geocaching.com and use the clues and coordinates to find the caches, hidden in a variety of places. There is usually a log book to sign in, and various "goodies" which you can take if you leave more. A related activity is letterboxing, which is very similar except no GPS coordinates are used, just the clues.
It's a fun way to get outdoors, learn some geography, and have fun as a family.

This weekend we took a hurried trip down to Kansas to go to a family reunion at my aunt's house. My last remaining grandmother was there, the one I always think of as "Little Grandma" She was never very big to begin with, but now at age 89 she's really tiny. She's been ill several times this year, and I guess I am feeling like each time I see her might be my last, especially after losing my other grandma in February. Grandma's memory has suffered, and she may not remember by now that I was there, but at least I knew I was there. Grandma is quite a lady--I was really blessed in the two women who were my grandmothers. She was a domestic woman's woman--talented seamstress, great cook, gardener, canner. Since I planned as a girl on being the ambassador to France or some such thing, and having a staff, LOL, I was too busy and too shortsighted to learn much from her. I've been kicking myself ever since starting my family.
There were cousins and second cousins, all also gathered to see Grandma and visit and catch up. To my great delight, I discovered that my father's cousin has an oral history and digitized photos of my great-grandmother and her family. It was a lot of fun! I was struck by how GOOD these people are to whom I am related-- different from me, perhaps, in lifestyle and religious belief, but they are the good, solid people of this earth who would stick together and do anything to help family. I'm glad to have them!

This is us at one concert. We look hot. :-) In the old-fashioned sense, of course.

For some must push, and some must pull, as we go marching up the hill,
So merrily on our way we go, until we reach the valley-o!!!
We attended the Handcart Pioneer Sesquicentennial Commemoration in Iowa City on Saturday. Unfortunately, the Iowa weather turned traitor, and in June we had 45-degree temperatures, cold rain turning to sleet, and low turnout. Sigh. But it was a great object lesson for parents to remind their children that the REAL handcart pioneers had no place warm to go after a day pulling a handcart in bad weather. Tallman ran around the entire handcart course several times, then took a turn IN the card with a friend of ours, while Cheery pushed and Daddy and PMM pulled. There were a number of activities, performances and displays, and we enjoyed them all. One note--there was originally a concession planned selling snowcones--it's Iowa in June, after all! Apparently and wisely, at the last minute they changed to hot chocolate and were one of the most popular attractions.
We got to follow this up last night, with yet ANOTHER trip to Iowa City, to attend the fireside. It was a tremendous experience for us to be there while President Packer and President Hinckley spoke. The PMM was very well-behaved, fortunately, since we had to arrive very early and take our seats early--we were in our seats at 6:00. It was a weekend in which we put many, many miles on our van, but also in which we made many family memories.

Here we are, as a handcart pioneer family! LOL

We're on stage!

Blowing dandelions. Just what our yard needs--MORE dandelions. It is already the disgrace of the neighborhood--other lawns are green--ours is yellow. :-)

Last night, for Family Home Evening, we dressed PMM in the Armor of God. It was pretty cute! Although his brothers got a little carried away throwing "the fiery darts of the wicked" at him. :-)

I've been told before by parents of teens how critical it is to talk when THEY want to talk. OK, tallman isn't quite a teen yet, he's only 12, but he's 5'11" so I'm counting him. :-) The other day when he was really struggling about the snake, really grieving, I kept going to him and asking him if he needed anything, if he wanted to talk, or what. He never did! But I suppose because I was extra-sensitive towards him that day, because I was thinking of him a lot, I really noticed how he'd show up behind me at odd times--while I was folding laundry, fixing dinner, on the computer. I'm grateful that because I was more aware of him that day, I put down what I was doing and listened, for those are the times he communicated, and I'd have missed it. It makes me wonder what I might have missed previously when I wasn't as focused on him. New resolution-try to be aware of this in the future!
Calandria is trying to get us all moved to a compound near Charlottesville VA. Sounds great! My "previous dream" is Lawrence, KS. I grew up not too far away and it's always been in my mind a mecca of culture, while still on the prairie. Although the joke is that there's ONE mountain in Kansas, and they build the University of Kansas on it--then put all the parking at the bottom. LOL Plus there's the basketball team (GO JAYHAWKS!!!!!!!) See here for pictures of downtown Lawrence. I used to drive in to Lawrence in the early 80's and stock up on foods that the grocery store in my hometown would not carry--like yogurt and bagels. LOL
But Charlottesville could work too. I'll be posting lots of pictures of Virginia, I'm sure, after I return from the LDS-EHE conference.

Requiem
We got a sad phone call this morning. A few weeks ago Tallman gave his snake Copper to some good friends so he could have room for a new snake. For a picture of Copper click here. Sadly Copper hadn't done well in his new home; he'd refused to eat, and the last week or so he really began going downhill. Tallman had visited and tried to help, but Copper just wasn't responding. In our area, none of the veterinarians will treat snakes, so there wasn't really much we could try to do. This morning we found out that he died during the night. Tallman is heartbroken.
I'm sad for him, and I hate to see animals sick or hurt, and Copper was obviously ill, we just had no way to help. Tallman has a new determination, however--he told me he wants to become a veterinarian and serve in an area where few vets will treat exotic species. That way he could help make sure things like this didn't have to happen.
I once nearly drowned Copper when he bit Tallman and wouldn't let go, yet I'm sad that this had to happen. I've had upset young men on my hands all day. We suspended much of "regular" school, to read what prophets had written concerning the souls and eternal destiny of animals, and to write memorials of Copper. We plan on burying him with a commemorative garden path stone which we will make, and perhaps a donation in his name to the humane society, or a reptile treatment book donated to the public library.
It's been an eventful day. How grateful I am that we can take this time together now, that we have flexibility in our schedules. I hope Tallman can be comforted. It's odd, how much we learn from the "difficult" situations which we would probably avoid if we could. But I can see growth and thinking going on in my son that happier days just doesn't bring. Still, I wish I could make it all better.

Finding time to read
Well, that is an interesting topic. And I need to note that there are times that I don't read much--the two weeks I was occupied with visiting my grandmother and attending her funeral, for instance, or when my babies were small or my toddlers roving destruction machines . . . For whatever reason, Heavenly Father does not have any babies or toddlers in my home right now. There are whole days I think "Hmm, I'm still on page 34 of that book, wonder if I'll ever finish."
But there are things I have done to carve out time. The first--deliberately infect my family. :-) My dh loves to read, too, so that was easy already. And a main goal of my parenting has been to get my children to love to read. So far I'm 3 for 3, and consider myself blessed. So the whole family happily reads--together, separately, separately in the same room. On a recent evening, we did have the Olympics on, but we all had something out to read, and even the 5yo was at the dining room table "writing" a book. (very cute--I'll have some adorable things to share later about his first authorial attempts, lol)
Another thing I did was to institute a mandatory quiet time in the afternoons. This took place during nap time as soon as I could get a little one on a nap schedule. Even after naps are given up and before the child can actually sit and read for long, I keep a quiet time--they can go to their rooms and play with puzzles or legos or whatever. I will be transitioning my 5yo over the next year or so to reading during part of his quiet time. It takes some determination and training, but this has been a non-negotiable in my home since the first days.
We often read in the evenings, out loud and separately. I can often find some time for my own reading right before bedtime.
Another thing I've needed to do is adapt my own reading style. I used to be a totally engrossed reader who could read right through a meal and never miss it. This would cause some consternation among the hungry hordes here. :-) Every great once in a while I do get pretty lost and have a hard time pulling myself back to the real world--but by and large, I don't do that anymore. I can now read while partially paying attention to the rest of the family, carrying on a low-intensity conversation with them while they watch TV, for example. I can read in 5-minute bits while waiting in a doctor's office. I can even read while making dinner. :-) I reward myself with 5 or 10 minutes with a book when I get something done around the house that I've been dreading. I would definitely rather read in this imperfect way than not read at all, so it works out pretty well.
These are things that work for me. Naturally, I'd like to read even more. :-) But I do treasure the time with my family while they are all still here. I have trouble with the balance at times, like any mom. But I do know that reading is like breathing for me, and I wouldn't last long without at least some. It's been too big a part of how I make sense of and interact with the world around me, for too long. There are days I probably should have paid more attention to something else rather than read, and there are days where I end my day feeling slightly desperate because I did not get time to reorder my mind by reading.

Calandria, the earlier picture was taken, of all places, in a field in Dust Bowl Kansas. :-) This one was taken right before Grandpa was sent overseas in WWII. They already had 3 little boys by then, and my mom was born while he was away in Italy. Thanks everyone for sharing in my reminiscing, it makes me feel better to think of good days and happy smiles.

Somehow it just seems right and appropriate that Grandma M. will be able to spend Valentine's Day with Grandpa H. She was released from her suffering and went Home shortly before midnight Feb. 13. She lived a long and full and active life. We will miss her, but we are happy she made it safely Home.

I just returned home from a trip to see my extended family, who is in need of a little support right now. My brother is in the middle of a messy divorce and is having a terrible time; he's living at my mom and dad's house right now. And both my grandmothers have been very ill. I went down to see everyone, and happily one of my grandmothers is rallying and improving a lot. The other one, however--I was shocked to see how quickly she has worsened. This is a picture of this special lady, my grandmother, in better days. I will try and collect my thoughts and see if I can express them. I think at one point yesterday she recognized me, but she simply was not well enough to track a conversation, and there are many things I wish she knew I felt that I could not say, for she would not have heard them.

Grandma M,
There are so many things I wish I could have told you yesterday. It was so hard to see you so ill--you, who have always been a model of busy efficiency and vigor. I always thought you were too feisty to ever really fall ill.
I told you I loved you, and that you meant a lot to me, and I hope you heard me. But there were many things I could not tell you. Grandma, thank you for believing in me. When everyone else thought I was just odd or perhaps a changeling, it was YOU who kept handing me challenging books and telling me to be ME. I know that my love of books and thinking and my lack of fear of what others think, are largely legacies from you. How can I ever thank you enough? I often thought you were one of the smartest people I knew; even though you had few chances for higher education, that never stopped you from learning and trying new things. You seemed fearless to me.
I probably owe my rather strong will to you as well, and we had a few titanic clashes in the days you took care of us when Mom worked, didn't we? :-) I know you and Mom had a sometimes difficult relationship, too, but I hope you can feel her love as she tenderly takes care of you, for it is plain to see.
Do you realize that nearly all the places away from "home" I've ever been, you took me to? I've never known anyone to love travel so. I remember how disappointed you were not to make it to all 50 states with Grandpa. But I also remember how proud I was of you when you nonchalantly flew off to Hong Kong at an age when some other women just give up and stay home. I wish I'd inherited a little of your wanderlust, but alas, I'm a homebody. :-)
I'll never forget the day I solved a Wheel of Fortune puzzle BEFORE you had it figured out! I was so excited, and rightfully so. I always thought you would clean up if you could get on the show!
Grandma, I don't know how long you will be here with us, but you will be sorely missed. I love you for your courage, your determination, your willingness to be yourself, and for nurturing and encouraging a hopeless bookworm whom everyone else seemed to want to remake in some other image. Thank you for your love, and for the legacies you have passed on. I wish I could make this easier for you, but I cannot. I wish I could stay near and help take care of you, but I cannot do that either.
Go with God, Grandma.

And in with the new!
Announcing Satin, the new kingsnake. We believe she is a SHE. She is delicate and slender and is popular with the whole house already. She really likes to burrow in her bedding, with only her nose sticking out, so when she comes out, the entire house stops everything and goes to look at her. We hope Silky the Californian kingsnake likes her when she's a little older.

Out with the old . . .
This is Copper, Tallman's corn snake. The picture is dark, but he was by far our biggest snake. Tallman decided he wanted a new snake, and I told him he could only keep 3 at once, so one had to go. This is the one that went--a friend was found who had always wanted a snake, and his wife even let him. :-) So Copper has a new home, and Tallman has visitation rights. This particular snake was cranky and didn't like to be handled, so we rarely got him out. He was also very strong! Once he bit Tallman and wouldn't let go. I tried all the "tricks" like blowing in his face, and finally I headed to the sink, where I intended to put him under water . . . and not be in a hurry to let him up. He sensed his approaching doom and let go. LOL

My mother says I was born looking ornery. Apparently I was a handful. :-) The back (OHH I hate it when they write on the backs!) says I was 16 months here.