Grandma M,
There are so many things I wish I could have told you yesterday. It was so hard to see you so ill--you, who have always been a model of busy efficiency and vigor. I always thought you were too feisty to ever really fall ill.
I told you I loved you, and that you meant a lot to me, and I hope you heard me. But there were many things I could not tell you. Grandma, thank you for believing in me. When everyone else thought I was just odd or perhaps a changeling, it was YOU who kept handing me challenging books and telling me to be ME. I know that my love of books and thinking and my lack of fear of what others think, are largely legacies from you. How can I ever thank you enough? I often thought you were one of the smartest people I knew; even though you had few chances for higher education, that never stopped you from learning and trying new things. You seemed fearless to me.
I probably owe my rather strong will to you as well, and we had a few titanic clashes in the days you took care of us when Mom worked, didn't we? :-) I know you and Mom had a sometimes difficult relationship, too, but I hope you can feel her love as she tenderly takes care of you, for it is plain to see.
Do you realize that nearly all the places away from "home" I've ever been, you took me to? I've never known anyone to love travel so. I remember how disappointed you were not to make it to all 50 states with Grandpa. But I also remember how proud I was of you when you nonchalantly flew off to Hong Kong at an age when some other women just give up and stay home. I wish I'd inherited a little of your wanderlust, but alas, I'm a homebody. :-)
I'll never forget the day I solved a Wheel of Fortune puzzle BEFORE you had it figured out! I was so excited, and rightfully so. I always thought you would clean up if you could get on the show!
Grandma, I don't know how long you will be here with us, but you will be sorely missed. I love you for your courage, your determination, your willingness to be yourself, and for nurturing and encouraging a hopeless bookworm whom everyone else seemed to want to remake in some other image. Thank you for your love, and for the legacies you have passed on. I wish I could make this easier for you, but I cannot. I wish I could stay near and help take care of you, but I cannot do that either.
Go with God, Grandma.